Grief and Pet Loss
Grief and Pet Loss
The relationship we establish with our pets is a unique and special experience. Our pets love us unconditionally and provide companionship. When a pet dies, is lost or must be placed in a new home, it is natural for us to experience intense emotion and sadness. Feelings of grief over a pet loss are normal, but may be complicated by the fact that our culture, family and friends do not always understand and validate the human-animal bond we develop. For many people, the loss of a cherished pet is no less a source of grief than the loss of a child.
The grieving process is a deeply personal and individual experience involving physical, emotional, social and cognitive reactions to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. The first step toward dealing with grief is to acknowledge one¡¦s feelings, and then the healing process may begin. Grief may manifest itself in many ways, including:
Crying
Loss of appetite
Numbness and emptiness
Disbelief
Guilt
Profound sadness
Acceptance
Psychiatrists have known for a long time that people who lose pets go through the same stages of grief as people who have experienced the loss of a human companion. The steps, or stages, of the grieving process do not necessarily progress in order or last for a specific amount of time. People pass through these periods in their own time - some faster, some slower.
Grief is a normal part of the healing process when we experience the loss of a pet, but many owners refuse to acknowledge or try to hide the emotions they are experiencing. One of the ways a pet owner can help themselves cope with their grief is to talk about their loss with someone they trust. When a person validates their feelings of loss through verbalization, it helps speed up the recovery process. Many people find that honoring the life they shared with their departed pet helps them to better adjust to a life without their special companion. Assembling a scrapbook of memories, hosting a special service with close friends, writing a poem or posting an internet memorial are all activities that help fill the emptiness and give the bereaved an opportunity to express deep feelings.
Pet owners often feel alone and isolated. Support is available from several organizations to aid in the grief process. Local humane societies offer grief support counseling on a regular basis. Cornell University, the University of California-Davis and Washington State University have developed pet-support hotlines staffed with trained volunteer veterinary students to listen and assist pet owners with their grief.
1. Cornell University Pet Loss Support Hotline
Tuesday-Thursday 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. Eastern (messages will be returned)
(607) 253-3932
http://web.vet.cornell.edu/public/petloss/
2. University of California-Davis, College of Veterinary Medicine
Weekdays, 6:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m., Pacific
(800) 565-1526
3. Washington State University, College of Veterinary Medicine Pet Loss Hotline
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday 6:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m., and Saturday 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. Pacific. Hours are abbreviated when classes are not in session. (509) 335-5704
http://www.vetmed.wsu.edu/plhl/index.htm
4. Pet Loss Grief Support
http://www.petloss.com
5. In Memory of Pets
http://www.in-memory-of-pets.com
6. American Dog Trainers Network
http://www.inch.com/~dogs/grief.html
Written material can also be a source of comfort to the grieving pet owner. Current publications available include:
1. The Loss of a Pet, by Wallace Sife
2. Legacies of Love, by Teresa Wagner
3. The Final Farewell-Preparing for Mourning the Loss of Your Pet, by Marty Tously and Katherine Heuerman